"On the eve of Charles Darwin's 200th birthday," tonight's Yale Center for British Art keynote lecture was accompanied by wine, sausage tartlets, and inordinately opportune people-watching: elderly women in fur, young men in lime green ponchos, tweeds and plaids mixed in combinations both horrifying and delightful, and the usual rarefied debauchery of art world academia.With Darwin's theories on evolution always pertinent to my own observations of human sexuality, and with Valentine's Day looming, here are some of the more egregious post-breakup mating rituals.
Gauche Things to do to an Ex:
1. After months apart, emailing your ex to suggest a friendly drink. Then, after he/she refuses, sending the following email response: "No problem. Just a bit of leftover curiosity." Classic wanker behavior.
2. G-chatting your ex, or contacting them via any form of simultaneous cyberspace messaging. If you have something specific to say, express it in a hand-written letter...you will inevitably change your mind about sending it, due to the letter's inappropriately aggressive or spiteful tone. You'll be grateful to have not humiliated yourself by way of as lowly a form of communication as Gchat.
3. Calling your ex in the middle of the night, especially with the idea of initiating phone sex. Need I say more?
1 comment:
I seriously thought you used the word "wankster".
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