Let's just say for the sake of argument that my friend was dating a boy named Dick Inwood. He was a prince with a roving eye and without vertebrae. He was fond of nights out in Shanghai, girls who wear Uggs, SKEX, and the law—not necessarily in that order. Dick Inwood makes the Wanker of the Week award, because after months of smothering his girlfriend in possessive love, one night he drank too much, had a fatal indiscretion, and promptly broke up with her. Did I mention that Dick Inwood pulled this mimbo move not once but twice? The second break-up took place via Skype, so he gets an extra special Wanker of the Week Gold Star Award for his creative use of technology.Moral of the story: once a wanker, twice a wanker. Let's just hope that my friend doesn't go crawling back to Dick Inwood after he makes his inevitable puppy-dog plea for sympathy over the fact that he can't hold his liquor without falling for some random girl's line.
2 comments:
Or falling into her lady parts. GROSS. When wankers abound, get out of town. Sort of a slant rhyme. Emily Dickenson would be proud.
I was looking for my fathers website to send him a thank you note when I found this. His name is Dick Inwood, but he lives in the south of France, not Shanghai, so it aint him, the rest of the stuff though...
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